I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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