Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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