dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize