new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
