I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
