Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is the high leading the old right now
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
