my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
