I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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