rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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