yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
