My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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