he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
