guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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