...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
