I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
