i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
