i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
