broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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