no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
