He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
