I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
