I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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