im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
