So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
