Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize