she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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