would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
