pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
