But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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