Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
