so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
