Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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