I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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