he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
