All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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