what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
