brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
