Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
