Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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