Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
