I hope mine doesn't look like that
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
