Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
