What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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