she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
