can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
