Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
