why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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