the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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