you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
