Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
