she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
