Little spoons don't ask big questions
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize