Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
