bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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