I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
