Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
