sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
