do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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