cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
