dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
