so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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