i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize