I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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