Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
