If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This is my gift to your gina
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
