He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
