I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
