The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize