I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
MIDGETS
????
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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