I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
