it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize