Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
