New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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