on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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