LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize