then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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