he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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