Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I party with great urgency now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
