My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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